We got this candy review too late to post it on the site yesterday, but it’s too good to just throw away, so I’m putting it here. <3 Anaheed
Chocolate-covered matzo
I’ll be honest—I haven’t even tried this product. But I don’t have to, because it’s sure to be bad. All the Jewish knockoffs of Christian holiday traditions fail. Hannukah is no substitute for Christmas, and Passover is nothing like Easter. So it’s ridiculous to act like we Jews should get candy this time of year just because our Christian friends get chocolates and jelly beans and sugary baby chicks. Fellow Jews! If you want sweets this time of year, just suck it up and buy a chocolate bunny! Don’t pour perfectly good chocolate over a food that the Bible calls “the bread of affliction”! Does that sound fun? Why not construct a model of Auschwitz out of Pixie Stix while you’re at it? We need second-rate Jewish imitation-Easter Passover treats as much as we need a Jewish Lady Gaga. Why bother? We can enjoy the regular Lady Gaga. And we can enjoy real Easter candy too. Boycott this product. —Ira Glass
Okay, so this is ridiculous? Like, first of all: since when is chocolate-covered matzah candy? Actually, I don’t even think chocolate can be a candy. I know, I know… ‘candy bars,’ whatever. Chocolate is chocolate. Candy is Sour Patch Kids and Nerds. Secondly, how is putting chocolate on matzah a knockoff of a Christian holiday tradition? Why are we giving the Christians chocolate? They don’t own chocolate! Easter doesn’t own chocolate! What is this!!!
Also! What about the homemade stuff?? I legit have BOXES of that cardboard left. If I am going to eat it I am damn sure going to melt some chocolate over that shit first.
…Because it is easier than trying to make vegan matzo ball soup.
Apr 13, 2012 @ 3:29 pm
