Ambivalent Ambition

My Grandmother was a Racist

racismschool:

My Grandmother (my Mother’s Mother) was a racist. Not a regular racist. The kind of racist that other racist people point to as “Racist.”

My Great Grandparents were racist too. Extreme racist. Hard core. Hated all things not white. My Grandmother treated me like I was gold. She was racist and she treated her half black grandchild like a perfect human being. Never once was my skin an issue. Never once did she say anything that was even the tiniest bit racist to me. Not ever. Yet, she was still one of the most racist people I have ever met. Her love for me didn’t suddenly make her realize the error of her ways.

This is why, when I hear someone say “I’m not racist, I have black people in my family.” I know that you ARE a racist. Non-racist people don’t need a reference point. 

So my Grandmother, who loved me dearly and treated me as such, was a racist.

But wait…there’s more.

My white Grandmother, who was an extreme racist, was with the same black man for over 30 years.

Did your eyes just pop out of your head? You didn’t misread that. This woman, who was a hard core racist was with a black man. Not just experimenting with a black man, WITH a black man for over 30 years. Wrap your head around that for a second. Never once did I hear her call him the n-word. Not ever. He was a horrible man. A real shit of human being. The kind of guy scum would give the finger to. Yet, no matter how he treated her, no matter what he did, she never brought race into it. This EXTREMELY RACIST WOMAN never brought race into it. Think about that.

Now, on top of all that, this racist white woman with a half black grandchild and a black boyfriend of over 30 years, also had a half black child herself.

As with me and her boyfriend, race never came up with my Aunt. Although, my Aunt was white washed. 

When you say “I’m not racist, I have/am dated/dating a black person” I know you are racist. Again, a non-racist person would never need a reference. 

When I hear racist people using these kinds of defenses against their own racism, I think of my family. I know better. I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it. You are going to have to try something else to convince me.

Just to add one last mind blowing family confession, remember the Aunt I was talking about? She is half black. She only identifies as white and gets extremely angry when you point out the race of her father. She is…you guessed it, an extreme racist. She will be happy to tell you that she “Talks” to anyone. She will even tell you that she “Dated a black guy once.” Then, in the same breathe will tell you that she would never allow her daughter to date a black guy because she wants to teach her the “Right things.” «<This came from an ACTUAL conversation I had with her.

I wish I’d said “I think you mean the white things.” I didn’t. I don’t think I said anything. I was so shocked by it. I was young and really had no defense against this stuff. I didn’t know half of what I know now. If I still spoke to her, I would love to have the racial conversation today. 

She has dated Nazi’s and not “Seen anything wrong with it.” She has defended them and their “Rights.” When I say Nazi I don’t mean it in the way some people do. Anytime someone says something racist they call them a Nazi. No, the guy she dated was an ACTUAL NAZI. That was how he identified. He was covered in Swastikas, rebel flags and even had a Hitler tattoo.

Yet she dated him and he dated her. THINK ABOUT THAT.

I tell you all this to say, if you find yourself being called a racist and your immediate reaction is to mention some PoC in your life as a reference, you are a racist.

The things in my family are not abnormal. They aren’t odd. I have friends and extended family members who deal with the exact same thing. Racism is stupid. Racists are stupid. Trying to make logic out of an illogical person’s thinking is absurd. This is why your referencing a PoC in defense in any way, tells me and everyone else that you are a racist.